From Rotary International guidelines, they suggest minimizing all communication with your son or daughter as it increases the likelihood of homesickness. It also decreases their growth in independent thinking.
During our second interview with the organization as Aaron was screened for the process, I remember asking how soon after they are settled would parents be able to contact the youth. The interviewers asked how I felt about a month or two? I was a bit shocked, but if that was the process then I was willing to give it a go. This was the beginning of a series of reminders that failed exchanges were often the result of parents who were unable or unwilling to let their children go unchecked for periods of time.
Now as the months of education proceeded, it became apparent that families in recent years established communication guidelines that would work well for both them and their student. For some this meant a once a week phone call. For others, the communication was less...for others it might have been more.
Students were taught that while they could continue to use social media that they should gravitate their activity to their new family and friends while minimizing contact with those in their homeland.
Students in our area were also assigned the task of keeping a web blog and making regular entries. Deciding if and how to obtain a cell phone became another issue. To reduce costs, Aaron made contact with us within 24 hours and instructed us to download the "whatsapp" app to our phones which would allow us to text and call for free. To video chat through skype or other methods is also another option.
So, having painted that picture for you, let me first of all state that this mother has done pretty darn good this first week and a half. Aaron called to say he was safe. He and dad exchanged a few texts and calls to facilitate some legalities. Then the conundrum took hold.
As I watched Aaron post to his blog, I wondered, "Do I comment?" Even prior to that, as early as pulling away from the airport, I debated about sending him a quick message that one of his Rotary representatives showed up just a bit late to see him off. Nope. Didn't do it. Didn't comment either. I watched his facebook posts. Do I "like," "comment," or "share?" I decided not to comment. Shared one or two...I think. Eventually, I decided I would "like" some of his photos and videos. I've also continued to resist the temptation to send him a little text just to let him know I love him and am thinking of him. He knows that, right?
By Friday afternoon (our time), I got a call from Mike that Aaron wanted to talk to me. He tried texting me and calling but I could not answer as I was busy at work. "What does he want?" I asked.
"He said that he just wants to talk to you. That he hadn't talked to you since Sunday," explained Mike. So I called.
I listened to some of his stories. Told him that we're doing okay. Honestly. Told him what I miss most is hearing him laugh so loud when he watches t.v. But overall, yep, we really are doing okay. We told each other "I love you." Aaron instructed me to tell Dad he loved him too.
He called his father again yesterday. Evidently it's been suggested he build a guitar while he's in Slovakia. He wanted his Dad's opinion. I later told Mike that next time he calls with a question like that he should encourage him to figure it out himself. After all, growing up and thinking for yourself are two of the primary purposes of this adventure.
So while we continue to contemplate when to "like," "comment," "share," "text," or "call," we'll be working at weening ourselves and Aaron from communication that hinders his growth while allowing him the reassurance that he is loved.
No comments:
Post a Comment