An Overdue Reflection from a Globetrotter's Mother

Today as we reflect 15 years ago and remember what peace in the world does NOT look like, I suppose now is as good as time as any to catch up on what life has been like since my globetrotting son has returned.

Aaron and Orsi in Budapest

Even though Aaron is still unsure, to some degree, why he ever went on the nine month excursion, one of the main reasons Rotary International voluntarily sponsors youth is to build goodwill and peace in the world. I can tell you, from my perspective, I know Aaron has now seen the world with fresh eyes. He continues to keep in contact with friends around the world. In fact, before he left Europe he managed to arrange a weekend trip to Hungary so he could re-connect with an exchange student who had stayed in Indiana the year prior to his leaving.

Aaron also managed to achieve one of his goals which was to complete a mostly unimaginable task. While he never quite mastered it, he learned the basics of a notably difficult language. He learned to enjoy having a brother...on more than one occasion. He learned to adapt to different personalities in the home. He learned how much he valued driving. He learned how much he valued hard work and earning a wage. He learned how much he valued education with a purpose. He learned the joy of capturing beauty with photography. He learned to value travel. He learned how much he valued random hugs and reminders of love.

He learned.

What I find most intriguing is that I know we have barely unwrapped the gift of this exchange. I am convinced that it will only be as the months lead to years and years to decades that Aaron will be able to look back and realize the huge impact it had on his life.  

Fishers Body Plant, Detroit

Now what can I tell you about life since his return? There have been changes in Aaron that we have noted. We were aware he'd come back about 40 pounds lighter, but his change in appetite caught us off guard. He eats smaller portions now. Three months since his touch down back in the USA and he hasn't gained any of the weight back. He also thinks nothing of taking a little extra time to see the sights and get some interesting photos. For example, he explored abandoned buildings in Detroit, and traveled alone to Chicago after the CSRYE conference to take pictures of iconic locations. Now he's got the itch to go to Mackinaw, Michigan for viewing the night sky.

Check out more of Aaron's photos
at AMRorick Photography on facebook.

Now luckily, somewhere along the line in his life he has obtained a fairly good sense of money management. Otherwise, I think every day he had off from work he'd be in his vehicle making a trip to a new horizon.

Speaking of horizons, his next one, in general, hasn't changed. He still has his spot reserved at guitar building and repair trade school in Big Rapids, Michigan. He is set to start in January, 2017. He seems genuinely interested and excited about this next step. Aaron really loves working with his hands, making things work, and creating unique items.

So let me finish with a bit of a confession. After my last post...the one I wrote before Aaron came home...the one that admitted Mike and I were feeling "apprehensive" about Aaron's return...we could hear it in Aaron's voice on the phone that the post made him feel sad. In hindsight, it might not have been my best move. However, he and I talked it out, and he understood I didn't write anything he and I hadn't previously shared. Nonetheless, it hurt him.

So Aaron, I know you'll read this. I know you know I'm sorry about that post. But I want you to know something else. Even though I'm still much the same Mom, and I still nag you about too much stuff...I really, really am thankful to have you home. I really, really love the random hugs. I really, really will never take for granted all the "I love you's." It really is good to have you home.

Airport Reunion

1 Day, 19 Hours, 30 Minutes

It's been such a long time since my last blog entry I'm not sure where to begin. Quite honestly, that may be part of the reason I've waited this long to write. Every time I considered sitting at the keyboard, I just didn't know what to say, how to say it, or I felt like I had other things I needed to be doing.

But here we are finding ourselves less than two days away from our son, Aaron, returning home to the flat land of northeast Indiana. The last thing anyone knew by reading this blog was that there were struggles in the cold, gray days of winter. Once Aaron renewed his determination to stay the course, he focused on the good:

While photos are a part of all exchange
experiences, Aaron developed an official facebook 
page that is open to the public.
Click on the link in the blog to check it out!
Oh, and be sure to "like" the page.

• He began to look with anticipation to his Eurotour.
• After he obtained a new camera, he started his own facebook page, AMRorick Photography, and began to post some of his favorite pictures from concerts and sight seeing.
• With the help of his host families, Aaron was able to enjoy weekend trips to Prague, Czech Republic and Budapest, Hungary.
• He entered his first photo contest which was sponsored by his county library system back in Indiana. While not a prize winner, he was happy to discover one of his pictures would hang in the gallery. 
• Finally, it was time for his two week Eurotour. He discovered a world of culture in France, Spain, and Italy.
• Additionally on his Eurotour, he came to appreciate the relationships one builds traveling with such a large group of young people. 
• Aaron also began to spend much of his spring time hours planning a 3,200 mile road trip for himself and his Dad to take just days after his return to the USA.
• Searching upcoming summer concert schedules also continued as a part of his life, and he was excited to get tickets to see the Monkees and Guns N' Roses back in the states. (You can't say he doesn't like a variety of music!) 
• In early May, Aaron also began to look ahead and began placing applications, sending resumes, and having skype interviews to secure a job upon his return.  

So you see these days of spring have been busy for Aaron. And how have we, as parents, been doing? Well, I discovered that once we shifted from trying to "just get through" this experience, to the mindset of "we're gonna make it," the anticipation of Aaron coming home began to build. Yet, my feelings continued to be mixed. While I have increasingly looked forward to hugging my son for a long and hard embrace, I have been apprehensive when I consider how life will have changed. 

This change I speak of isn't just a result of the 287 days we've been apart. Much of the change will be a result of Aaron being 19, seeking employment, and hopefully heading off to trade school in January of 2017. With increased age comes increased responsibility. I know Aaron is up to the challenge, but it just seems odd to me when I realize that if Aaron doesn't like returning to his old environment or doesn't like new rules, our new recourse as parents can be, "If you don't like it, you can move out."

People, in general, have mostly assumed that Mike and I are excited at the prospect of Aaron coming home this Saturday. Yet, that isn't the word that springs to mind when asked. We struggle to find the right word. The best word we've found is probably the one I used above. We are apprehensive. And if we were to be truly honest with ourselves, I think we are scared too. Why should we be scared? Well, we really shouldn't be. As I reassured Aaron in an earlier blog post, on November 14, when the terrorists attacked in Paris, God's message to us is to "Be not afraid." Still, when the unknown lurks ahead and we know there is change fast approaching, a bit of fear creeps into our lives. 

I suppose, though, that we should take a lesson from our son as spring arrived. I suppose we should focus on the good: 

• Our son will now be home in 1 day, 18 hours, 53 minutes.
• He has truly had an experience of a lifetime.
• He has learned much about himself.
• He has made and kept an incredible commitment.
• He has at least 3-5 companies requesting he contact them about employment opportunities as soon as next week begins.
• Mike and I have enjoyed quiet evenings.
• Mike and I have seen new places too with a trip to Arizona.



Mike and I in Sedona, Arizona. 

• Mike and I have basically had a test run with the "empty nest" and realized we could get used to it!

So the next days, weeks, months, and years might not be easy. Just like these last months had ups and downs, so too will the future. 

However we must remember, we are just blessed to have made it this far!

A Mother's Dilemma

When a mother discovers her son has shrunk three pant sizes and two shirt sizes it is a bit uncomfortable. Luckily when Aaron left to travel overseas for a year, he had just a few pounds he could spare. The realization is that I am sure it is a combination of a different diet, being more active at times (like a week of constant downhill skiing), but also having a little less appetite at other times.

So here is how we are accustomed to seeing our son. These are clothes he took with him from the USA.

Now here is an outfit he tried on at a store in Slovakia on Monday, February 22, 2016.

While he didn't decide to buy that one, he did go out the next day and purchase this...

It was good to see the pictures and know he's not down to skin and just bones! As a friend said, it probably says more about our American diet and how we can learn something from others. 

Almost down to 100 days until his return, and I can't wait to squeeze him no matter what size he is!

Sending a Hug and a Message

To Aaron:

Artwork Credit: Snoopy Facebook page

Ups and Downs Continue

The exchange year continues to be like a roller coaster. Right now we seem to be in one of the valleys. So allow me to share an excerpt from a book I picked up when Mike and I made a trip to Arizona in November. The title is "Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance." It's written by a Lokata Indian, Joseph M. Marshall III.

The grandfather in the book speaks to his grandson:

Photo Attribution: CC BY 3.0,
https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=20047214

"When I was a young man," he said, "the last wolf in the part of the country was hunted down and killed. The newcomers to this land brought their long-held fears of the wold with them. The newcomers thought, and still think, that the wolf was successful because he loved to kill and was good at it. To them, he was evil and had to be killed. They didn't realize that he failed more than he succeeded. He went hungry eight or nine times out of ten because his prey got away. When he finally succeeded the tenth time, he satisfied his hunger. What others saw as a lust for killing was really perseverance. That was the secret of his success: He never quit." 

And in a paragraph soon following, he says,

"...losing can weaken our spirit, and dampen our enthusiasm for putting forth effort...As the wolf learned long ago, of the many rewards for winning, two are most important:

Victory obscures loss, and it replenishes the spirit."

Stay the course, my son. Just 113. 

Love, Mom.

Holidays Pass with Wake Up Call

I just opened my emails to discover it's already time to start planning Aaron's return departure date. Wow. While I've been very aware we are nearing the half way point in this journey, seeing that information arrive just caught me off guard.

In the last four and half months we've had highs and lows. What I've learned most about myself is that I do fine as long as I know Aaron is fine. When I know he is struggling, I struggle too. He has shared that the Eastern European culture is not one where many, if any, hugs are shared. So while I know I can't fix all of his problems, the Mom in me just yearns to put my arms around him.

Harley, our cat, was glad we finally put up the nativity.
He likes to be a part of the scene. 

Many of our family and friends have checked in during the holidays...wondering how we were doing. The strange thing was that it was the days leading up to the holidays that were more difficult than the actually day. Aaron hit a rough patch about four days before Thanksgiving. Mike helped him with some critical thinking while trying his best not to make any decision for Aaron. Stateside, Christmas preparations were difficult to get moving with no "child" in the house. The advent decorations stayed in the attic until, I think, the third Sunday of the season. Christmas shopping lacked motivation as well. However, as a couple we came together and resisted the temptation of laziness and put up a live tree on Christmas eve as has become our family tradition.

Aaron, meanwhile, was eating carp in Slovakia with his host family. Good thing he's learned to be polite. He grew up hearing that carp is a "dirty fish...a bottom feeder." I did a little research and found this:

In the cities, opening of Christmas markets signals the arrival of Christmas. In the booths you will find food specialties such as lokše, flat potato-dough pancakes filled with sauerkraut, goose liver, or jam, and also varené víno, mulled wine. But it’s not the food or the Christmas trees that people come looking for. They come to buy a live carp. The fish is kept alive (usually in the bathtub to the delight of any kids in the family) until Christmas Eve. The scales are removed and the fish is prepared for dinner. According to Catholic traditions, meat could not be consumed until after midnight mass. The fast did not apply to fish and fried breaded carp became the traditional main course on this holiday. The fish scales represent coins; whoever keeps one in his or her wallet can be assured of wealth. For more about their traditions, you can visit "Christmas in Slovakia."

On Christmas day, we got together with Aaron on facebook and had "face time" for the first time. He chuckled when he first saw us. I'm not sure why. I'm hoping it was a happy laugh. We sent pictures back and forth of gifts we'd received and gifts that would be waiting for him when he got home.

The New Year found Aaron moving to his second host family. This was met with much trepidation, but so far his reports are good. He is especially happy to be a two minute walk to a lake that he can skate on and play hockey. Today, he just wrapped up skiing for a week in a mountain range referred to as the Low Tetras. He sent his father and me a message yesterday with pictures of the slopes.
He said that skiing down the 6000 foot mountain was "one of the scariest things I've done in my life but man am I glad I did it." This afternoon, he shared that he and a new friend made the extra effort to hike to the top of Chopok, a mountain peak, while others stayed behind. His joy was unmistakable. These are the reasons you do a gap year.

Mike and I agreed this was our favorite picture he sent us the day of his first major descent.

On Monday, he'll return to the routine of school. And quickly the days will begin to slip by as we all plan for his return. No doubt there is still much adventure for him...but still hard to grasp that the time is nearly half gone.