A Middle Street Message Reminder

(Image Attribution: http://memegenerator.net/instance/54305551)

Short Snow Post

First snowfall of the season in New Haven, Indiana.
Photo credit: Facebook page of Mickey Hill, Aaron's Godmother.

It snowed approximately four inches here yesterday. I ventured out this evening for the first time. The sidewalks were still messy and icy. Our built in snow removal system is gone with Aaron in Slovakia. Going to have to find someone new to shovel the snow this winter. Probably will be myself.

Post Terrorist Attack Advice to My Son

On the day after the Paris terrorist's attack, my advice to my son living in Europe is have no fear. I say this for a few reasons.

First of all, if you fear you allow the terrorists to win.

Secondly, you take away joyful opportunities in your life. For you, Aaron, that could realistically mean you choose not to attend a concert out of fear of a possible attack. As your Mom, I know how important music is to you. To let some set of radical people keep you from your love seems ludicrous to me.

Lastly, you should live with no fear for God is with you always as He sends his angels to watch over you day and night. Remember His command throughout His holy word: "Be not afraid."

Artwork Found at:
http://www.makingmusicprayingtwice.com/uncategorized/parenting-advice-from-the-angels

Riding the Roller Coaster of Emotions

Moods will vary. Levels of activity will rise and fall. Minds will rest, get bored, get lonely or even let loose and have fun.

Thanks to the conferences hosted by Rotary Distrist 6540 and later Central States Rotary Youth Exchange, parents and students are taught what is a typical roller coaster of emotions while away for year. Rotary also reminds everyone that not every student is typical. So with that said, I really don't know where our son fits into the "normal" experience. What I can report is that even this mother has finally experienced a wide set of emotions this week.

On Sunday evening, I retreated to my bedroom, grabbed my son's bear for only the second time since he left, and actually wept for the first time. More than a tear or two, but not uncontrollable either. I just wanted to be able to hug my son for encouragement...and I can't when I am at least 17 hours and 25 minutes away by airplane.

Then Monday, he happens to make a blog post on our wedding anniversary thanking us for how we raised him. He also posts about a trip into the High Tetras where he had a cool experience with a fox. Today he relates in his blog about how important it is to pay attention with your ears and eyes. Then in another post, he recounts his experience of a Slovakian high school dance.



I am reminded of the car restoration project that my husband and son took upon themselves last year.
     There were times of great progress and also breathing spells.
     There were times when the guys worked with what they had.
     There were other times when new purchases needed made.

I imagine this is similar.
     There will be times when there are things to do.  Different places to go. Different people to meet.
     There will also be spans when it seems like the days run together in dullness.
     There will be times when Aaron uses the values and characteristics that have grown in him since             he was a child.
     There will also be times when he is brave, takes risks, experiences new feelings, and unfolds.

Now that I've used a car analogy, let me send a guitar message/analogy to my son through this blog:
"Aaron, continue to amplify yourself."

And if you're trying to figure out what exactly Mom means, here's a few other options from the thesaurus:

1. augment
2. exaggerate
3. heighten
4. intensify
5. magnify
6. strengthen
7. boost
8. develop
9. elaborate
10. enlarge
11. expand
12. extend
13. inflate
14. stretch
15. beef up
16. build up
17. flesh out
18. hike up
19. jack up

By the way, this mother is happy to report that when she read that her son "actually had fun at a school dance for the first time ever" she felt tears of joy well to her eyes.

My advice to others is:

Just ride this roller coaster. 

Stay on board. 

You may feel sick sometimes and exhilarated others. 

Remember it will come to an end some day.

Cursive Makes A Return

(Photo Attribution: https://www.bettefetter.com/betty-edwards)

About a month ago, Aaron shared with us that all his classmates in Slovakia write in cursive. He had started keeping a personal, handwritten journal and decided that he would use that format to brush up on his cursive. Many Americans will not be surprised to learn that he basically stopped writing in cursive while he was in fifth grade.

Today we received a postcard from Aaron. He actually sent it to us to hand deliver to a friend. True to his word he has returned to the fine art of cursive writing. True to Rotary International's word my son is changing.

(Photo Attribution: http://parentscoalitionmc.blogspot.com/)

Another Graduation

Tonight we boxed up Aaron's second care package. This one only contained four items:

1. A set of tuning pegs for the guitar he is building.
2. An already opened bag of dark M&M's. (They were easy to grab from the kitchen cupboard.)
3. His down feather blanket. (Earnestly requested by Aaron for the last month. He reports his current blankets creep up on him, and his feet end up hanging out.)
4. A note from Mom.

During my young teens years, I came up with this little
set of arms that I put on cards, letters, notes, and now boxes.
They travel well!

In the note, I announced to our son that he has officially graduated from just being "spoiled" to "spoiled rotten." It was Dad who finally told Aaron we would send it to him during the next few weeks. I'm still in a state of disbelief. 

On the bright side, it will be much easier to fill out the paperwork at the post office. A tip for future parents or friends sending care packages: write a list of all the items you put in it as you box it up. The post office wants to know exactly what is in there. I didn't know this for the first package, and I probably stood at the counter for 15 minutes recreating the long list of stuff I stuffed in the box. Even Aaron was impressed with my first packing job as he reported how he kept pulling stuff out. He did also report that there was a different piece of tape on box, and it looked like customs had gone through it. I'm not surprised. 

(Photo Attribution: https://www.pinterest.com/ep27153/peanuts-linus/)

Missing Ingredient.

(Photo Credit: Coney Island Facebook page)

I have decided that certain foods don't taste quite as good as when my son joins us for the meal. Coney dogs at Coney Island. Wings at Buffalo Wings and Ribs. Homemade chicken enchiladas.

There's just something missing, and Aaron is the missing ingredient. The empty chair waits for his return...or in the case of Coney Island...the empty counter stool.

Hoping for Solutions

So it seems things aren't perfect. Well, it's not so much that we expected things to be perfect. But it seems that things are not great for our son half way around the world. The week is slow and boring as he continues to not understand what is going on in school. As his classmates get further into the school year, they seem to be busy studying harder which leaves him with fewer people to hang out with after school. Evidently weekends aren't too bad. But being relatively idle for five days at a time is leaving him thinking about home, thinking about driving (which he isn't allowed to do overseas), thinking about work, and thinking about college. And this mother hasn't figured out if having the Chicago Cubs in the playoffs is a good diversion or only making the situation worse as he longs to be closer to the excitement of what may be a historic run to the World Series.

Tomorrow he finally meets with his Rotary youth exchange counselor...or his wife...not sure really which it is. It is my hope and prayer that they'll be able to work together to find some solutions to some of the difficulties Aaron is experiencing. I believe my son can succeed in making it through the whole year, but it would be nice to know he is enjoying the experience and not "just going with the flow" until he gets home.

Care Package One

Tonight Mike and I find ourselves compiling our first care package to Aaron. We've asked for his input, and it's obvious he's missing his "home team" Chicago Cubs as they prepare for the playoffs. We also forgot to send him with a USA flag. Aaron ordered the beard in the photo and plans to use it as a ski mask. I'm not real sure how that's going to work. It was hotter than heck in just the few minutes it took to get the picture.

Aaron has also been invited by someone that family knows to build a guitar. So he has asked we send some of his guitar parts. He's asked for some odd things too...like toe nail clippers and permanent marker Sharpies. We'll try to slip in a few small surprises, then hope that the Cubs win their first playoff game so he can actually wear the jersey before their season is over.

Life is Changing

Changes have taken hold here in the Rorick home.

Life is much quieter. The television isn't on as much. Video games aren't played. Most importantly, there is one less person to have as part of a conversation.

The house is cleaner. And even more bizarre, it has a way of staying cleaner longer. There's not as much stuff to put away or clean. I think we've only used the dishwasher four times since he left. The shoe pile by the door isn't nearly so large.

The office is a lot cleaner once we stored all his hockey and baseball equipment. We can even close the closet door now! My husband was in awe.

The smiley face on the back of Aaron's truck
greets us every day. 

We finally took his Scout truck down to his cousin's to have some more work done on it. We also finally got the other Scout truck that was being used for parts towed out of the back yard and sold for scrap. Now we just have his red Dodge Dakota smiling at us as we pull up to the front curb every day.

We tend to eat supper without the television on. Did I mention things are quieter? Oh, and we changed the lighting in the dining room to a more romantic setting. We're also eating more leftovers. I guess we haven't made our recipes much smaller, so there seems to be a serving remaining.

For some reason, I am finding I actually get the remote control more often. We only have one television. Hard to believe, but true. Usually I used to let the guys manage the programs, but now I sometimes find something that isn't just about making money, but actually has a real story line in it.

As a couple, we're doing pretty well. We're pleased at how we're re-connecting after having a son in the house for 18 years. But...

...after a month, I must confess...I am beginning to miss my son. 

The first few weeks were really okay. It was much like a honeymoon. There was a newness in the air. The clean and quiet house was nice. However, the lack of Aaron's voice and laughter is making this mom a little melancholy now and then.

We continue to work through the communication conundrum. Aaron doesn't seem too homesick, so we're not really obsessing over how often we talk. He sends messages to his Dad fairly often. Sometimes Aaron and I will chat through social media. Once a week we try to actually talk...you know, like in the old days, where you can actually hear the person!??

Overall, we're doing okay...but things sure have changed.

Communication Conundrum

According to Merriam-Webster, "conundrum" is a confusing or difficult problem. So far, the decision making process that goes into deciding when and if to communicate with Aaron is confusing but not necessarily all that difficult.

From Rotary International guidelines, they suggest minimizing all communication with your son or daughter as it increases the likelihood of homesickness. It also decreases their growth in independent thinking.

During our second interview with the organization as Aaron was screened for the process, I remember asking how soon after they are settled would parents be able to contact the youth. The interviewers asked how I felt about a month or two? I was a bit shocked, but if that was the process then I was willing to give it a go. This was the beginning of a series of reminders that failed exchanges were often the result of parents who were unable or unwilling to let their children go unchecked for periods of time. 

Now as the months of education proceeded, it became apparent that families in recent years established communication guidelines that would work well for both them and their student. For some this meant a once a week phone call. For others, the communication was less...for others it might have been more.

Students were taught that while they could continue to use social media that they should gravitate their activity to their new family and friends while minimizing contact with those in their homeland.

Students in our area were also assigned the task of keeping a web blog and making regular entries. Deciding if and how to obtain a cell phone became another issue. To reduce costs, Aaron made contact with us within 24 hours and instructed us to download the "whatsapp" app to our phones which would allow us to text and call for free. To video chat through skype or other methods is also another option.

So, having painted that picture for you, let me first of all state that this mother has done pretty darn good this first week and a half. Aaron called to say he was safe. He and dad exchanged a few texts and calls to facilitate some legalities. Then the conundrum took hold.

As I watched Aaron post to his blog, I wondered, "Do I comment?" Even prior to that, as early as pulling away from the airport, I debated about sending him a quick message that one of his Rotary representatives showed up just a bit late to see him off. Nope. Didn't do it. Didn't comment either. I watched his facebook posts. Do I "like," "comment," or "share?" I decided not to comment. Shared one or two...I think. Eventually, I decided I would "like" some of his photos and videos. I've also continued to resist the temptation to send him a little text just to let him know I love him and am thinking of him. He knows that, right?

By Friday afternoon (our time), I got a call from Mike that Aaron wanted to talk to me. He tried texting me and calling but I could not answer as I was busy at work. "What does he want?" I asked.

"He said that he just wants to talk to you. That he hadn't talked to you since Sunday," explained Mike. So I called.

I listened to some of his stories. Told him that we're doing okay. Honestly. Told him what I miss most is hearing him laugh so loud when he watches t.v. But overall, yep, we really are doing okay. We told each other "I love you." Aaron instructed me to tell Dad he loved him too.

He called his father again yesterday. Evidently it's been suggested he build a guitar while he's in Slovakia. He wanted his Dad's opinion. I later told Mike that next time he calls with a question like that he should encourage him to figure it out himself. After all, growing up and thinking for yourself are two of the primary purposes of this adventure.

So while we continue to contemplate when to "like," "comment," "share," "text," or "call," we'll be working at weening ourselves and Aaron from communication that hinders his growth while allowing him the reassurance that he is loved. 

Picking Up the Slack

We'll know we forgot to feed them supper
when they come to stare us down.
(Harley on the left and Joy on the right.)

There have been no great emotional breakdowns. Yet ever so gradually this mom is missing her son. If not before, it began the first time I had to feed the cats their evening meal. Tonight it was when I vacuumed the floor and took the recyclables to the curb. It was Aaron's  responsibility to feed Joy and Harley their supper. Often I could count on him to assist with the sweeping of the carpet and handling of the trash or recyclables if only I asked.

These are just but a few of the ways I am sure to notice his absence. It's definitely bittersweet. Bitter to realize he is not here to help. Sweet to realize he was willing to help when he was here...even if it did take a few reminders once in a while.

So here in the USA, we have our saying of "picking up the slack". Having had a fisherman for a father, I imagine this saying came from the idea of picking up the slack, or "extra length," in your fishing line so as to make the chances of catching a fish greater. It looks like we'll be picking up the slack here as we do the extra things we were able to delegate to Aaron. We'll definitely have to adjust to a redistribution of chores and style of living as we welcome the beginning of our empty nest.

Wake Up Call

I probably just had the most interesting of all wake up calls. Literally and figuratively. Mike called me, and I was still in bed. "What are you doing?" he inquired.

"Laying here listening to my snooze alarm. Why?" I responded.

"Well, how much do you want me to tell you when Aaron calls me?" he asked.

Now if that isn't a loaded question, I am not sure what is. We established, at least for today, to go ahead and tell me what's going on.

"This morning at 6 a.m. Aaron called and wanted to know if he could go flying with a friend of the family who is an acrobatic pilot," he confided.

I recall a few seconds of silence then laughter on my end. "Well, you know that's what he there for...to have an adventure." 

"Yep," said Mike. "I told him to go for it."

From all reports Aaron survived and enjoyed the trip in the little two seat airplane.

Now as I prepare the rest of my day, I am thinking perhaps it wasn't by chance that after we dropped Aaron off at the airport Saturday we headed to Two EE's Winery. We tasted the wine. Mike broke a glass before he even started to imbibe, Then we purchased two bottles. While we really are coping well for the time being, those bottles of fermented grapes just might come in handy as we continue to "wake up" to the realization our young man is on the adventure of a lifetime.

Our two bottles of wine.
They might turn into morning "coffee" if these kind of wake up calls continue!

"Things Will Never Be the Same"

Aaron lifted off today. Everything went smoothly on this end.

• Aaron got to bed at the reasonable hour of about midnight.
• We all got up about 6 a.m.
• Together we made it down to our little town cafe for breakfast.
• Checked in and had a friendly airport employee who checked in Aaron's bags with no problems.
• Sat in the coffee shop together and waited as one of his Rotary representatives, Greg Solon, joined us.
• Kissed him good-bye with minimal tears. 
• Watched him go through security as the first TSA agent told him he thought he needed more "bling."
• Waved good-bye.
• Moved the car to the end of the run way to wait to watch him take off.
• Visited with another Rotary member, Dick Conklin, who was just five minutes late to see Aaron.
• Waved to his airplane as it taxied to start its lift-off.
• Watched it lift off.

Then we all started our new journey. As we pulled out of the airport, Mike said, "You know, just like 18 years ago, things will never be the same." 

"Yeah, I know," I replied. We both recalled the last time he told me those words. It was on our route to the hospital on the day Aaron was born. 

Aaron lifted off today...in oh so many ways. 

One last kiss.

First security check point

Second security check point.
Looking comfortable for the flight.

Checked In and Chilling

It's 7:38 a.m. And we've got his bagged checked in with one pound to spare. 

Now just relaxing outside the gate near the coffee shop.

Holding Back The Camera

I once shared a lesson with my son about how sometimes in life it's just important to put our cameras down and soak in the moment. Make the memory in your mind and not saved on some computer drive. There's a long story involved with this lesson I learned that dates back to the late 1980's and Tom Selleck. Aaron has his own story about this life lesson that involves Pete Rose at Cooperstown three years ago.

As I prepared to make another blog entry tonight, I went to check my phone for any pics to download and realized I haven't taken any in the last few days. There were opportunities--good ones too. At last night's campfire there were family members saying their good-byes. Today we went out and visited a dear friend of Aaron's who hasn't been able to make it to church the last few weeks because of a hip fracture. The thought of grabbing a quick picture during both these special times did cross my mind. But I let the thought go.

Just soaking it in. More importantly, letting Aaron soak it in without having to stop and smile for a camera...especially while he's struggling to hold the tears back.

Head Spinning

Today was a full day of trying to problem solve the issue of wanting to send a guitar with Aaron on the trip. We had some successes, yet are still experiencing hurdles.

Balancing work, trip preparation, saying good-byes, and trying to keep some semblance of healthy balance in life is a struggle.

Aaron's self professed goal is just to keep moving things along so he can get over there. He even expressed frustration when Mike and I agreed we needed just a half hour break tonight after we wrapped up our campfire bon voyage. "We don't have time for breaks," he grunted as he put his head down on the counter. Parents rule. Break obversed.

I have faith it will all work out. In the meantime, it certainly is an adventure.

Heading to bed a little earlier than usual tonight to get up and go at it all again tomorrow.

Song for the Day

Time's Quickly Ticking

The days are quickly running together.

Mike and Aaron returned from Springfield, Ohio where they enjoyed being around other Scout truck owners.

The cat missed Aaron being away for two day.
Don't know what she'll do for 10 months. 

Aaron came home and found his driver's license.

Sunday we all attended church one last time. The priest called Aaron forward to give him a small Franciscan Cross for his travels as he reminded him he is an ambassador of not only his country but the church as well. He said a prayer and blessed him. Then he hugged Aaron. Finally tears began to fall. Just for the record, let it be known that Mike and Aaron were the first two to shed the most tears. It was only when I got a good look at them crying after Mass that I started to cry.

Aaron began to pack his suitcase.

I called the airlines only to discover he will NOT be able to carry on his guitar for the overseas portion of his trip. Now we are in a scramble coming up with alternative plans.

We ate our neighborhood diner, Rich's Cafe, for lunch for the last time. Either Aaron and Mike have been eating there on Saturday mornings since Aaron was born, or we've all stopped there together after Mass on Sundays. The owner was more than willing to give Aaron one of their uniform shirts...straight from New Haven, Indiana.

We've also been trying to straighten up the house and get the grass cut before some friends, family and neighbors arrive tomorrow night for a farewell campfire. Nothing fancy...just hot dogs, marshmallows, and water. Mostly a time just for hugs and good wishes.

Time keeps on ticking and slipping, and in between we grab a few winks.

Just four more days.

Sub-conscious Fears Manifest???

During the last few days, Aaron has confided he is getting nervous. I suppose that is normal. From a parent's perspective his level of nervousness seems appropriate. Then yesterday, after he had traveled south a few hours in his restored International Scout, he informs his father by phone that he has lost his driver's license. First, my husband establishes that it has not been confiscated by the authorities for any reason. Nope. Just lost. Aaron says he's looked everywhere four times and had an announcement made at the car festival he is attending. Nothing.

Now I don't know a lot about psychology. While it was my minor in college, that was 25 years ago. Yet I can't help but wonder if this isn't some silly trick of his sub-conscious putting a hurdle in his way this week before he is scheduled to lift off on August 22. Oh, I know I'm over-analyzing, but it's fun sometimes. I just hope this hurdle isn't insurmountable, and I'm also VERY grateful it wasn't his passport he lost.

Aaron with his restored Scout that he took to the IH Scout and Light Truck Nationals in Springfield, Ohio. 

Addendum: On the following day, while pre-packing, Aaron found his drivers license. He had placed it with some official papers after meeting with a banker on Thursday.

Good-Byes Begin

BonVoyage cakes don't usually accompany our monthly coffee and donuts at church. However, since last Sunday was Aaron's concluding monthly social, Mike and I offered to make sure that Aaron's church family knew this would be a good time for them to say their "Good-byes." So as we went about organizing it, one of the church ladies offered to bring in a cake. Before services, we invited everyone to be sure and stay afterwards to wish him well.

Aaron has been a member at St. Mary's Catholic Church since he was 2 years old. He's been a server/acolyte, choir member, parish council youth representative, a soup kitchen volunteer, and soup kitchen fundraiser committee member. Yep, he gets around! 

While Aaron has a number of small groups he considers family, the community at St. Mary's is definitely one of the largest and most special groups. They have watched him grow and are excited about his adventure. So many of them donated to his trip that it is difficult to image it coming to fruition without their help. 

We had a good time with our friends and family! We thanked them while they wished Aaron safe and blessed travels.

First Win, First Penalty!

Tonight was another good night for the Rorick family. We headed out to our indoor ice rink where Aaron is finishing up his first season back on the ice after a 4 year hiatus. He's involved in the Adult Safe Hockey League and took up the position as goalie just 3 months ago. This evening he recorded his first win as he played the whole game in the net. He also had his first penalty in this position. He seemed equally proud of both.

I am sure he will experience many other "firsts" in the Slovak Republic, but happy that both of us parents could enjoy this one!

Aaron in goal!
(Yes with a camera mounted to his helmet.)

Working the Circuit

This Monday began with my son and me gathering with our sponsoring Rotary Club of Fort Wayne. The guest speaker was from Fort Wayne Community Schools and spoke about the their programs to help students learn English. Interestingly, there are 70 languages spoken by the children in our city schools. I once heard that in one middle school alone there were 27 languages! Coming from the educational field, she wanted us to get a glimpse of what extra effort many of these children have put forth in their everyday classes. She challenged us to pair up and then spend just a few quick moments trying to tell the other person what we had done that morning without using any words with a "s" or an "n." We all fumbled and bumbled and looked a lot less intelligent than we really are. Just adding that one extra process really slowed us down. I sat there thinking about Aaron next to me and the daily, almost constant, struggle he will encounter upon his arrival in the Slovak Republic. In 18 days, they say he will begin to encounter a headache that may last from 2-4 weeks. It will be caused by the constant processing his brain is performing in attempting to make sense of the language. I'm glad his host mother is a medical doctor and will know how to help with the headaches!

Club banners to be given as gifts.

Before leaving, we collected four small banners from the club to be gifted to Aaron's host club and host families. We also verified the time of the arriving Germany student. His plane was due at the airport about 6:45 p.m..

In the afternoon, Aaron set out on his own to seek a few in-kind donations. First, he visited Sweetwater Music Instruments and Pro Sound. Actually, it was there that he started out by seeing if the V.P. of Human Resources had a couple minutes so he could ask him about becoming a luthier, one who makes stringed musical instruments like guitars. Aaron explained that he had applied and been accepted to a trade school for this purpose and wanted to know what the guy thought of the Galloup School of Guitar Building and Repair. At which point the fellow pulled out a business card and explained he had just written the school on the back of the card as a recommendation for Aaron. Some of their most prepared employees have graduated from the school. Aaron was pretty excited when he learned this. He feels better about investing the money in the education at the trade school. As they wrapped up that discussion, Aaron shifted to asking him if he knew who he could talk to about possibly getting help with obtaining a very sturdy guitar case he had spotted at their annual Gear Fest. He hopes it will protect the guitar he plans to take to Europe. The man referred him to someone else and told him to write a short cover letter to the solicitation letter he already has that would specifically state what he was looking for. He thought they might be able to help in some way.

Welcoming inbound German student, Richi, at the Fort Wayne airport.

Then Aaron dropped off another letter to our minor league hockey club, the Fort Wayne Komets. His goal is that they might donate a jersey for his first host family whom he knows enjoys the sport. By this time, he was pretty tired having trucked around in his vehicle with no air-conditioning and loud muffler.

So I graciously picked him up, and we headed to the airport. There we met a small group of Rotarians along with the first host family of the incoming student. We greated him and his weary body, took a few pictures, collaborated with some of the stragglers in the group and then left.

Bottom view of a 12-position rotary switch
showing wiper and contacts.
(Photo Credit: Wikipedia/Rotary switch)

Quickly following the jaunt out to the airport, we returned to the New Haven area and caught up with the New Haven Lions Club. Members of the club had partnered with Aaron in May by having a chicken dinner fundraiser. We wanted to thank them again and provide them with an update on how his experience is going.

Creating and keeping connections on the circuit board of life is just part of the Rotary Youth Exchange experience!

A Series of Final Days

Aaron on the day of his
"temporary retirement" from the working world

The end times are coming...and I'm not talking about the world. A series of events have resulted in making it clear that this is a season for "lasts." It's been about two weeks ago when Aaron celebrated his last day of work. Doesn't sound like anything too impressive until one considers he worked as a server at St. Anne Home and Retirement for over two years. That's quite a bit of seniority for an 18 year old!

Then we took our last family vacation before he leaves. We spent over 3 days in the Cooperstown, New York area enjoying the National Baseball Hall of Fame induction weekend. We also just relaxed and took in the serene scenery. Unexpectedly, Niagara Falls even made it onto our itinerary on the return trip as Mike had never seen them!

Aaron, Mike, and Charlene
at Niagara Falls, New York

And it's the small things too. Last Friday and Saturday we held what was likely our last garage sale after ten years. It had become a tradition. Aaron had learned business principals (like paying his dad back for the concession supplies) and negotiating skills. On Sunday we stood in church prior to communion and exchanged the sign of peace. I looked at Aaron, hugged him as usual, then noted that I only have a couple more of these before he leaves.

I imagine if I were the parent of a son preparing to leave for college, I might note these events or perhaps not. I recall my own time of young adulthood as transitional. This route with Aaron seems much more fixed. It does not feel like my son is taking baby steps into adulthood but rather a giant leap.

As they teach the youth in the exchange program, do not look at your home or host country as being right or wrong, just different. This is true of this experience for me as well. It is very different to experience these final days. While other parents will be able to continue to see their college students as they commute from home or visit on occasional weekends (to do laundry of course!), my son will be half way around the world for over 10 months.

People, very frequently, will ask if we're going to miss him. To which we often respond that we are ready for him to leave...we are ready to experience a home to ourselves...at least for a while. But, yes we will miss him. Perhaps that is why I continue to savor these moments and this time.

Resting at Glimmerglass State Park, 
located at the north end of Lake Otsego, New York. 

CSRYE Summer Conference

From Friday morning until Sunday morning, we spent our time this weekend at Calvin College at the Central States Rotary Youth Exchange Summer Conference. The weather was perfect! The workshops were very helpful. Most importantly, I saw a noticeable change take place in my son, Aaron.

He seems to have a new excitement and maturity about going. He met another student from Terre Haute, Indiana who will is being hosted by the same Slovak Republic Club. He has come home with a renewed interested in learning the language. He is increasing understanding the importance of completing assignments in a timely fashion.

This afternoon he spent quite a bit of time placing the new trading pins he acquired on his blue suit jacket. He is placing value on the relationships he is building.

At the general assemblies, students and parents were to sit separately. On the last night, after the talent show, the ceremonies closed with everyone in the theater singing, "Let There Be Peace On Earth." He confided in us that the song almost moved him to tears...but of course he held them back. Still, I think he is fully grasping the importance of this trip. It is now more than just a hockey adventure!

I am so happy for my son. He is so brave!

Opening Ceremonies: Parade of Flags (Aaron is in red shirt center/left)

Central States includes members of Canada

National Anthem of U.S.A. 

Aaron's projects

Aaron's workbench in our small home ends up being our dining room table. If you are wondering, yes, his Rotary jacket has hung there handy for the last 6 months. A closet would just make too much sense.

Random Thoughts and Feelings

Sitting here feeling a bit overwhelmed with the little things that I'd like to see done before Aaron leaves in August.

Looking forward to the Central States Rotary Youth Exchange Summer Conference at Calvin College starting tomorrow. More than anything I'm just glad to have a weekend where others are leading, and I'm just a follower. Tell me where to go and what to do.

Feeling a bit torn. As his mother, I'm glad to see Aaron's giving heart as he works today to build and later donate one of his guitars to a neighbor. Then tonight he's taking his uncle who is off work and not driving due to illness out for supper. I'm left wondering if he'll be packed and ready in the morning.

Oh, and I'm hungry, tired of clouds and rain, and ready for a hot bath.

Oops. I guess I better make sure I'm packed too before I get comfortable in that bath!

A Favorite Fourth with Family

With holidays come traditions. With the blending of families, traditions meld and vary. Yet, families remain at the core of traditions. My husband grew up on a farm where holidays and celebrations were mostly low key as there were always chores to do. The story also goes that the family didn't have much money for lots of gifts or extras. Yet raising animals, fruits and vegetables never left them go hungry. Meanwhile I grew up in the city the daughter of middle income parents. Holidays were often observed and gifts were often exchanged at a modest rate.

In the 23 years of marriage we've shared, I'm not sure just how many times we've let the long holiday weekends slip by with barely an acknowledgement. Christmas and Easter always get noticed. Thanks to a bit of fascination with fireworks, my husband almost always made sure we got a good view of the city's celebration on Independence Day, the Fourth of July.

For all three days this on this holiday weekend, we really squeezed in just about all you can imagine or expect. On Friday, my husband cooked up some T-Bone steaks, boiled some corn on the cob, and chopped up some watermelon. You don't see T-Bones cross our grill often so this was a special meal for the three of us. Then Mike and I made our way down to Parkview Field to watch the free Fort Wayne Philharmonic Pops performance before a standing room only crowd. What a relaxing pleasure to share a table down the right field line with other community members. As the orchestra finished their musical selections for the evening, fireworks lit the downtown sky.

Saturday found all three of us headed to Indianapolis to spend the day with our "adopted" family, the Metheny's. We ate, we visited, we drifted around the pool, and we even met a woman whose ancestors are from Slovakia! It certainly is a small world. At the end of the day, we drove north back towards the "Fort." Before landing in our New Haven home, we detoured to park in the lot of my former workplace, Associated Churches of Fort Wayne and Allen County. From here we could watch another batch of fireworks being shot off of one of the few skyscrapers. After watching the colorful display, visiting with a former co-worker, and getting bit by a few mosquitoes, we finally headed east to our humble abode.

As with most Sundays, we started out going to church. Since we had spent most all of our prior weekend relaxing with family and friends, it was time to get to work on some home chores. Aaron took to taking some spare parts off the original Scout in the backyard. It's headed to the junkyard soon. He also cut the grass while Mike trimmed. Meanwhile, I got to borrow the neighbor's electric clippers to give our eight large bushes a major whack back. When the day began to wane, our friends, the Millers, made burgers and hot dogs for all the neighbors. It was a welcome break from the work. Afterwards, my guys cleaned up the mess from the bushes. Still with daylight left, Aaron headed to another set of neighbors to learn how to play Euchre, a card game brought to northern Indiana from German immigrants (I believe). I came inside to keep the laundry flowing, and Mike installed some fans in the basement to help it dry out after a very wet June.

The weekend is quickly coming to an end. I look back and see how beautiful it was. Family surrounded us. We had each other. We had our friends in Indianapolis who have welcomed us into their clan as if we always belonged. We have our neighbors who welcome us to their porch. We have our work families, and we have our church families. We visit, we eat, we drink, we abide. We love.

Taking Time to Just Be

I first noticed it about two months ago.  A desire began to appear within me to savor the time I have with Aaron.  It sounds easy, doesn't it?  But it can be a challenge when two hurdles present themselves. One hurdle is that my husband and son have pointed out that I can be a glass half empty kind of person.  For example, in my previous post I talked about how I can often point out to Aaron what I want him to do next instead of showing appreciation for what he has just completed.  Sometimes, instead of thanking him for what he did do, I'll point out what he could have done better.  Secondly, with a list of tasks needing completed before the departure date, it can be difficult to put to the side the roll of nagging mother.

So nights like tonight are special.  We took time out of our hectic lives to go watch our local, minor league baseball team, the Tin Caps.  The organization was having a special promotion where fans could get an autograph from Hall of Famer, Rollie Fingers.  With his own sports memorabilia collection, Aaron is not one to quickly let those opportunities go.  You can check him out on Aaron's blog, by clicking here. Although a bit chilly, at least there was no rain, and our home team won!  

Going to church, going out to eat, or watching my son make ribs for his Dad on Father's Day--these are the simple things that I'm cherishing most. 

From another old time, hall of fame recipient, some wisdom to remember:

"Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday's success or put its failures behind and start over again. That's the way life is, with a new game every day, and that's the way baseball is."

~ Bob Feller, Cleveland Indians

Struggling with Multi-Tasking Together

Over the course of this journey, I have discovered a struggle within myself. It often has taken the form of a tug of war. At one end of the rope is a mother waiting as patiently as she can for her son to take initiative on tasks. At the other end of the rope is a mother who often eventually succumbs to her need to check in on her son's progress on the task.

While this youth exchange was Aaron's original idea and while he has been instrumental in seeing it come to fruition, I must admit that it has been his father and me that at many times have kept the wheels turning. Whether it has been reminding him to send out thank you notes for the financial gifts he has received or encouraging him to start his own blog and begin making posts, we've had to resort to being the nagging parents. It is not a role we relish.

Now as the number of days continue to shrink between now and departure, we find a number of items needing action. For Aaron, multi-tasking has not always been a strong ability. While capable of multi-tasking, it is not his comfort area. I remember so many times while he was growing up, I would ask him to do a small chore around the house. While he was still in the midst of accomplishing that assignment, I would inform him of what I would like him to do next. It was not unusual for me to hear, "Wait. First you told me to do this. Now you want me do that. Which do want???" Of course the the mother in me had a simple answer for that: "Both." But from his perspective, both could not be done at the same time so I was asking the impossible.

Last week a similar situation arose. He knows he needs to be assembling and mailing out over 40 thank you notes from graduation gifts. He also needs to really focus on learning Slovakian. Somewhere in the midst he is supposed to be working on a major research project on his host country. Also, his sponsoring district wants him to make two blog entries per week. Add on top of that his daily life of working four days a week, playing hockey one evening a week, attending church, attending Rotary meetings, and having some summer fun with friends....well you get a pretty overwhelming picture for an 18 year old young man trying to juggle life.

(Photo by Tim Evanson/Royal Hanneford Circus - Westchester NY)

When I approached him how he was coming with the thank you notes and the foreign language, his response was much like it had been as a boy. "What do you want me to do???" Whether he said it out loud or implied it, the message was he couldn't do both at once. I turned to him and asked, "Haven't you heard of multi-tasking? You're going to need to learn." The conversation did not end well. In an uncharacteristic move, I lost patience, turned away from him, and said as I parted, "Fine. Get overseas and don't know how to ask where the bathroom is. See if I care."

After we both had time to cool off, I returned to that part of the house about 20 minutes later. He informed me he had taken the time to look at the website I had recommended. It is called Language Exchange Community. A week later, he pointed out he was making progress on the website in making a connection with someone, AND he was also still working on his thank you notes. "So I see you're multi-tasking?!" I said. "Yes," he replied. We had a bit of a victory celebration.

I must now admit a confession. Not having to assist in keeping the wheels moving is something this mother is looking forward to. I am also very hopeful that by being away from Mom and Dad for ten months our son will learn a way to self motivate and prioritize projects. While I realize multi-tasking can be a good skill to have, it is also equally or even more important to know what to focus on and when. Rotarians assure us our son will come back a different person. May this be one of those differences!

Aaron's Departure Date COUNTDOWN!

This last week we discovered Aaron will be departing on August 22, 2015 for Slovakia.

To discover how many days remain, simply click on the following link:

How many days until 22nd August 2015?

KOŠICE – ST. ELISABETH CATHEDRAL WITH CLOCK

(To learn a little about St. Elisabeth Cathedral, click here.)

Don't Be Afraid to Ask

How many people have not seen the world simply because they didn't think they had the money? Thousands? Probably millions. It would have been so easy for our family to join in those numbers as our son proposed the idea to be a foreign exchange student over two years ago. While we have been blessed with good middle income jobs, there is not extra money for a 10 month stay in a European country for an 18 year old.

I am here to encourage those of you who doubt you can do it. First of all, have determination that you and your family will reach your goal. What is your goal? Let's suppose it's to get your student or even yourself overseas. How will you do it? By asking for help. You say you're shy? Be courageous. You don't know how to go about it? Get help. Not sure where to look? "Google it."

In our case, we started by searching the internet and finding sample appeal/solicitation letters. Then we determined what our financial need was--we estimated that amount at $10,000. We then established what we could afford to begin the fundraising efforts. As parents we committed to an original $1,000 then later upped that $2,000 as we realized we were simply paying for unexpected incidentals and needed to account for that. The Rotarians and we, as parents, agreed that our son also needed to invest in this trip. So we had him commit to donating $1,000 as he worked his part-time job.

With the appeal letter composed, we sent it out in December to over 120 family and friends including many at our church where Aaron is very active. At this time we also set up a gofundme account to help those who might want to use credit cards. You can check it out at gofundme.com/aarons_exchange. Although only 2-3 people actually made donations using the online fundraising site, we continued to use it to post our offline donations so we, along with others, could monitor the progress towards our goal.

At first the donation came in pretty steady for 4-8 weeks. Then they became less frequent, but individuals would remind us that they were planning to give. We also redirected our efforts at this time to a few local businesses and civic organizations. For example, we asked our employers and friends who own businesses if they could donate. Most did. The Rotary Club of Fort Wayne is sponsoring Aaron and donated a scholarship. Even our New Haven Lions Club hosted a Chicken Dinner Fundraiser for Aaron. They gave us the opportunity to sell "pre-sale tickets" to our friends and family. Some "cashed in" their tickets by getting dinners, while others (like Rotary members) simply bought the tickets out of kindness to put the money towards Aaron's trip.

Greg Solon, Rotary Member, presents Aaron with Youth Exchange Scholarship.

Now as we get closer to the day of departure we are refocusing again and asking for help with in-kind donations. Such as, Aaron already got the local optician to donate a pair of frames and lenses for him to have as a back up pair of eyeglasses as recommended by the trip organizers. By relationships through the Rotary Club members, we have also have just received word that the local travel bureau will donate 100 trading pins, and a former state representative gave us connections where to get Indiana state flag pins for trading. Aaron expects to ask a few local businesses for t-shirts with "Fort Wayne," "New Haven," and "Indiana" on them to trade with other youth.

As you can see, it takes a quite a bit of time and energy to pull this off. However, the pay off is not just the money. As parents we have been truly humbled by the outpouring. For you see, every time someone gave, they gave us a confidence vote in our son. Truly, there were times when the donations left us speechless. Whether is was a donation that came in much larger than we expected, or if it was a small donation from a friend we knew to be on a very limited income, we were grateful. We still are.

So, if you are considering how you might ever manage to travel overseas, remember what someone, somewhere once told you: "It never hurts to ask." If you have a circle of potential supporters, a bit of bravery, and are not easily impacted by the occasional rebuff, you'll be on your way in only a few short months.

 (Image attribution to: http://www.powerofpositivity.com/positive-affirmations/)

Such a long weekend of celebrating Aaron's graduation one day, followed by his party today. A houseful of people gathered; many came and went throughout the four hours. And yet, grandparents were missing from the scene. Three have passed. One is not mobile enough to navigate easily in such situations. 

Then, tonight on facebook, I saw a post which read, "Grief never ends...but it changes. It's a passage, not a place to stay, Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."

Milestones give us pause to think of those who have passed. Today, both Mike and I took moments to include our parents in celebrating this graduation weekend. What made it special is we didn't really plan it, we did it on our own, and only discovered our shared grief and price of love by chance in a conversation.

So often this year, we have heard, "You've done a great job raising Aaron." The fact of the matter is that he comes from a great gene pool...and that includes his grandparents. Living and deceased.

Kudos to Frances Bernadette & William T. Rorick along with Arthur J. and Barbara A. Vonderhaar.  For those we've never met, but who handed down their values and principles...we also thank you. By God's grace and design through the ages, Aaron is the young man he is today because of you!

We've been busy receiving information from my son's host Rotary club in the Slovak Republic lately. The biggest news to start with was that he will be living in Semsa, a village of 750, to start his journey. That's a big difference from the metropolitan area of Fort Wayne, Indiana. Yet, when we looked where his school was located, we discovered it is Kosice, the second largest city in the country and comparable to what Aaron, our son, is used to.

Just yesterday we heard from the mother of his host family and discovered that she is a medical doctor and the father is in a business which includes a hockey warehouse. With Aaron just having returned to the ice after a four year hiatus, he is excited to hear the news that his host family has a hockey connection. The family has one son, a 15 year old, who also plays the sport.

As we prepare to watch our boy graduate from his American high school tomorrow, we are increasing aware that August will be here before we know it, and we will be escorting him to an airport.

No doubt his wings will sprout as the airplane's own wings lift him from the soil of this continent.

(Map credit to University Bible Fellowship)

(Semsa is located in the lower left portion of the map.)

Getting Started

Originally, this blog was simply put together so I could test out the capabilities of the blogging site. You see my 17 year old son is preparing to go overseas in six short months. He's required to set up a blog site as part of his experience. 

So I threw together a url address for me and a page title that I thought would work even if I might decide to blog throughout this parenting adventure. You know what? God is wonderful as the Spirit inspires. For now, I am not constrained as to what I will write about in these pages because life outside of raising a 17 year old and being married to a wonderful man involves being a hospice chaplain. You see, all of life is about different places, different faces and sharing in this one world

That's all for now!